- January 13, 2021
- Posted by: Raz Chorev
- Category: Misceleneous
2020 has been, well, like any other… there’s been ups and downs, challenges and wins, and today, on the last day of 2020, I’m taking a look back throughout the year. As they say – hindsight is always 20/20.
I’ve divided my life into 6 categories, to help me analyse various aspects, and the influence of each aspect. Of course, many aspects are touching the others, but I believe it’s important to look at them separately, and then join the dots.
I can’t say which aspect is the most important. They are all part of my life, and contributing to my state of mind, which impact my relationships (home and work), my wellbeing and health, and my career and finances.
In 7 pages, I’ve summarised main events, and the perceived impact they had on my life. I won’t bore you with the details, but I’m happy to share some personal highlights.
Family and Relationships
At the end of October, I divorced my wife of 20 years, and the mother of my 3 children, after 16 months of separation.
Earlier that month, I moved in with my new partner, a bold move for both of us. It was a bold move, and a risky one, as we were both in a middle of custody and other battles, legal and others with our former spouses. We had financial uncertainty, due to the effects of COVID-19 on my salary, my financial obligations to my ex-wife and the kids, which I needed to sort out.
Career
Salary Decrease
The covid-19 epidemic had a major effect on my consulting business. We’ve lost the engagement with two of our biggest clients, which we were counting on for both their retainers and the impending sale of both of those businesses.
My business partner and I made a decision to cut our salary (mine by 50%, including the government support – JobKeeper allowance) so can maintain some level of earnings for a longer term.
CWS Israel growing
Without the growth in CWS Israel, I couldn’t have survived financially during the past year. We’ve had 30% growth this year, which allowed me to supplement my income.
During the year, given the dwindling amount of work I had at Stylequity, and the increase in flexibility (working from home) and less time traveling, I’ve managed to concentrate on growth and generate more interest and opportunities, resulting in a 30% increase in revenue, during one of the most challenging years (financially and otherwise) to most of the developed world.
Finance
2020 was a financially challenging year for me on one hand, yet had some promising steps in the right direction, on the other.
The Downs
- Salary dropped in half, for the foreseeable future. No real prospect for increase in salary at Stylequity, as no new clients are lined up.
- The ongoing divorce proceedings had an adverse impact on my financial situation
The Ups
On the other hand, there were some other developments in the past year:
- CWS Israel increased in revenue
- I’ve sold my bike, reducing my debt level.
- Reading the book – The Barefoot Investor, reminded us to take some steps toward financial security:
- Revisiting Superannuation set up
- Increase savings contributions
- Reducing credit card debt
- I’ve revisited my insurances, and making steps to make sure I’m covered with the right amount.
Health and Fitness
I’ve struggled with my weight for as long as I remember. I was always a bit chubby, but in recent years have become, medically speaking – Morbidly Obese! Although I always conscious of my eating habits and lack of physical activities. From time to time I tried to move more, and in 2018 I bought myself my first Fitbit watch, so I will have reminders to move, and set step count goals. It sort-of worked, but not really. I’ve managed to get to 10,000 steps per day quite easily, and even increased my minimum to 12,000, but it didn’t really make a massive impact on my health and wellbeing.
In February this year, I was introduced to Wim Hof, a Dutch health guru. I’ve downloaded his app, and for several months practiced his breathing techniques. I’ve managed to hold my breath for 3 ½ minutes straight, and sometimes even more! It was a nice novelty trick, which made me calmer, more focused and less tired (as I was increasing my oxygen intake).
In addition, I’ve learned how to have cold showers, a ritual I still maintain daily. Simply turn on the cold water, whatever the outside temperature is, and have a shower. It takes time to get used to it, but I’m now really enjoying it!.
A few months later, I met an old friend, who lost a whole heap of weight. He looked literally half his former self! He introduced me to his new way of life. At first I didn’t think much of it, but Yulia, my partner, thought it would be a great solution to her weight gain. She took on the Amway program very seriously, bought all the vitamins and supplements, and went on the diet. Purely out of solidarity, I joined her a week later! We’ve been on this diet together since July, and accomplished the following:
- Lost over 11Kg in five months.
- Lost 2 clothes sizes
- I’ve dropped my resting heart rate from 81 to 64 BPM
- I sleep better, move better.
- I’m much less tired during the day, despite my iron deficiency (which have dropped too)
- I average 12,800+ steps per day. 4.6M+ steps this year (3,500+ Km)
- I’ve burned on average 3,289 Calories per day.
Overall – it’s a step in the right direction. It has been an “adjustment” to say the least, but it is showing real, tangible results, so I will continue with it to next year.
Self-Development
Many people joked around during the first stages of COVID19 movement restrictions, that people should spend the time and learn something. A language or a skill. I’ve taken on both!
I’ve started learning Russian late last year, but really picked up the pace this year. I’ve downloaded Drops on my phone, and learned 1900+ new words this year! I can’t speak any Russian yet, but I can certainly pick up words in conversation and make some sense of what I’m hearing!
Around February, I realised I’m spending too much time and money on advice (mostly inadequate) on labour law and taxation. I run a payroll business in Israel (CWS Israel), and this information is used daily. I have aspiration to grow my business and expand its’ services, so having a more robust knowledge, not necessarily a certificate, can make a massive impact on my business. So I took on a Payroll officer course, in Hebrew. I’m 80% done with the material, which makes me very proud.
I’ve put some real effort this year improving my mental state, my interpersonal connections and improving my overall relationships with others. I’ve downloaded the MindValley app, learnt the Five Love Languages, read and learned about dealing with Parental alienation, and coping with various stresses. I’ve joined The Man Table – a group of supportive men who meet on a monthly basis and share their most inner thoughts, struggles and feelings.
Books
Normally at this time of year, I make a list of books I’ve read, and normally, there’s a theme. This year was so tremulous, I hardly had time to read. Actually, I did have the time, but simply couldn’t focus… For the first time in my life, I’ve started books I haven’t finished (on purpose). I’ve chosen books completely out of my comfort zone, and out of my regular themes. I’ve read books about psychology, fatherhood & separation and divorce. I’ve also re-discovered my manhood through books.
During 2020, I’ve read / listened to the following books (in no particular order):
- Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
Lori Gottlieb - Loving What Is
Four Questions that Can Change Your Life
Byron Katie, Stephen Mitchell - Never Split The Difference
Negotiations as if Your Life Depends on It
Chris Voss, Tahl Raz - Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex
What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You
Amy Baker, Paul Fine - The High Conflict Custody Battle
Protect yourself and Your Kids from a Toxic Divorce, False Accusations, and Parental Alienation
Amy Baker, Michael Bone, Brian Ludmer - Normal People (couldn’t finish)
Sally Rooney - Talking to Strangers
What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know
Malcolm Gladwell - How to Have Impossible Conversations
A Very Practical Guide
Peter Boghossian, James Lindsay - The Bedroom Fix
D.S.O - The Secret Life of Bees (Wouldn’t finish)
Sue Monk Kidd - The Barefoot Investor
The Only Money Guide You’ll Ever Need
Scott Pape
I’ve also downloaded / bought these, but haven’t got around to them yet:
- Communication for Couples:
Improve Your Communication Skills in Relationships and Marriage. How to Communicate Effectively Without Struggling to Build Trust and Stronger Relationships
Dale King - The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity
Esther Perel - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
Mark Manson - Surrounded by Idiots
The Four Types of Human Behaviour (or, How to Understand Those Who Cannot Be Understood)
Thomas Erikson - Lean In
Sheryl Sandberg - The New Manhood
Steve Biddulph - Letting Go
David R. Hawkins - The Best of Me
David Sedaris - Indistractable
Nir Eyal, Julie Li
2021 – How will it be different?
If 2019 was challenging for me personally, 2020 was challenging all around. The mistake I’ve made, giving in to circumstances, was not to articulate any concrete goals, and not creating a plan to reach them. I was just carried onward with time, without a thought-through strategy and plan. Very un-like me…
2021 will be different. I’ve already set out my goals for the year, looking at each of the above aspects of life, and highlighting 3-4 factors in each, which I’d work on to improve. It may seem like a lot of things to think through, but in reality, we do it anyway. I have a copy of my goals on my desktop, which will remind me to focus on what’s important, and just simply ignore the noise.
Saying all that – I’m still keeping an open mind, and if there are opportunities coming along this year, which I haven’t considered before hand, I won’t dismiss them simply because I didn’t have the foresight the plan for them. I’ll consider them, in reference with my goals, and make my decision to act on them, or not.
If you’d like to know more about my goals, or have input into your own process of goal setting and analysis, please leave a comment below.